Anxiety has eaten my day.. come and sing along!

Yes. Today's the day. But I still have no Math grades on the palm of my hand. I still have to wait almost an hour and a half more to see what I've earned. Damn, I saw the result of my 4th long exam this morning and it was terrible! I failed... I only got 40%. I hate it. My dream for a 1.25 or 1.5 has slipped away that fast. But I still have to hope for the better.

So the Student Disciplinary Tribunal was closed when I came by the office a few hours ago. And it's from them that the last signature for my clearance is needed. Where are they? I need to see them.

And after that, is stopped at the School of Economics. I saw another list of accepted applicants. And yes, I did not hope for more, my name wasn't there. I asked the kind ate in the office of the College Secretary if they could still accept my summer grade. And she refused. I was close to tears! She told me to talk to the Undergrad Committee head about my appeal for reconsideration. And so, I need to talk to her later this afternoon.


I am so anxious. Yes, anxiety hasn't left me yet. And I didn't get to finish my lunch because of that feeling in my stomach. I feel so uneasy and antsy. I want to scream and cry because I feel so frustrated. God help me.

I hope the Ma'am Kraft (the Undergrad Committee head) would reconsider my appeal. Deals and compromises are running inside my head for pleas. I hope she isn't as stern as her name sounds. I hope she would give me a chance. I hope she would accept me. Oh my gosh. Just the thought of facing her is giving me chills.

Oh God, I pray again to you. Please don't leave me. Please help me. Please do not forsake me. Please allow me to pursue my dream. Please Lord, help me...

I finally got hold of the lyrics of this Sarah McLachlan song. The lyrics follow. Press play to listen. This is what I feel at the moment...

Heaven bent to take my hand
And lead me through the fire
Be the long awaited answer
To a long and painful fight

Truth be told I've tried my best
But somewhere along the way
I got caught up in all there was to offer
And the cost was so much more than I could bear

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

We all begin with good intent
Love was raw and young
We believed that we could change ourselves
The past could be undone
But we carry on our backs the burden
Time always reveals
The lonely light of morning
The wound that would not heal
It's the bitter taste of losing everything
That I have held so dear.

I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Heaven bent to take my hand
Nowhere left to turn
I'm lost to those I thought were friends
To everyone I know
Oh they turned their heads embarassed
Pretend that they don't see
But it's one missed step
You'll slip before you know it
And there doesn't seem a way to be redeemed

Though I've tried, I've fallen...
I have sunk so low
I have messed up
Better I should know
So don't come round here
And tell me I told you so...

Powered by eSnips.com