some way out...

Please tell me that something's going to happen anytime soon, that is, if you know what that something is all about.

I am sick and tired. Exhausted. Insecure. Every wicked thing. I am keeping track of my progress but I am going nowhere. I need to get over this crisis.

In my years of existence, wew, nothing spectacular has ever happened. I don't think I am growing, but I mean it in a not-so-physical way. I mean in all the other aspects of me. I feel so highschool-ish, feeling all of these insecurities and all. These should have happened then, but they are just happening now. I don't know why. They are just intruding into my reverie and just messing up with my brain. I have found the path I want to take. I have found my strengths. But things are still not going easily. Things are tougher, to be truthful. Things are more complicated. Things are heavier. Things are sadder.

I told myself I'll work harder. And yes, I remain true to my word, I work harder. But not hard enough to get me through things the way I want to. I feel so delinquent, okay not so much. But I feel so inadequate. I am trying to balance my priorities. It's working but not quite well. I don't know what strategy to try, or what kind of time management to use. Maybe I'll figure it out soon. I need to figure it out soon.

The weather's not cooperating. My USB's not cooperating. My professors are not cooperating. I am not cooperating. I am not feeling quite well. It's only God whom I could really trust in times like this. I know he won't let me down.

My friends too! I mean my true friends. I know they're not going to leave me.

I know I can do this, though I still need to figure out how.


PS: I want to write (not another blog entry) but a poem. I miss writing. I should be starting over again.