blue-ness.

I came home to Cavite today feeling okay, but now, I feel, I dunno... sad.

My mother told me that the baby of one of our neighbors died last week. And I was deeply sad, that I fought back tears when we were talking about it. But really, the news was devastating.

The child was a blue baby. Have you heard of them? They are those unfortunate children born with weak hearts that couldn't pump enough blood through the course of their bodies, giving their lips and nails a bluish tinge (hence the term "blue" baby). The case is considered one-in-a-million by doctors and maybe, that unfortunate one is our neighbor.

The baby's mother was just a teenager when she gave birth to him. And the doctors said that maybe the fact that her body hadn't developed yet at that time gave way to the complication with her son. That's one sad fact. Another one is that the father didn't stood up for his son, and just let the girl carry on with the pregnancy alone.

Since the baby had a congenital problem, the doctors predicted that he could live until he is a year and a half. But he survived until he was 3 years and 7 months. That was really a blessing! But still, I was frowning over the thought that the child had lived until the time when he could recognize pain as it is and learn to be attached with the people around him. It was really sad.

The baby had never been able to grow physically according to his age. He looked like a 1-year-old child when his real age is two years more than that. He had never learned to walk or even stand because his legs and feet couldn't support his body. He was always in a stroller when he was out of the house. And the elders couldn't carry him for long periods of time because parts of his body hurt when pressed against others'. But in spite of all of those, he had a smart mind and a really cheerful attitude. He would wave at people he knew and would smile a lot. And that's a really positive outlook that we should all appreciate.

He was well when this year started. Problems started to occur when the changes in temperature bothered us. He started having colds and fever, which were really being avoided by his family to happen to him since he had a not-so-good immune system. But still the fluctuations in the weather couldn't be escaped from. He was confined in the hospital for a month, but after that, the doctors advised the mother to bring him home since they can do no better for him anymore. For two more weeks, he remained half-awake, weak, and immobile. But after that, on April 22, 2007, he was taken away from this world.

I didn't have the chance to go to his wake because I have classes and he was buried yesterday. But my mom told me that the child looked like a real baby in his coffin. Dressed with a long-sleeved shirt, you wouldn't see his bluish nails, but you cannot deny his blue lips. But on either side of his hands were small figures of Barney and of a bear. I don't know why, but that made me teary-eyed. He seemed a really nice, kind, happy boy. And I don't think he deserved that problem. Maybe his parents aren't married or that he was conceived "illegally", but still, he was innocent about those. He deserved to live. He could have ran around. He could have gone to school. He could have met other children. He could have gone to college then find a good career. He could have made his family proud. He could have had his own family... But no. He is now gone.

The story touched me a lot and made me realize how lucky I am to have a normal life. I realized that, quoting Stephen Chbosky in his book, The Perks of Being a Wallflower, people really have it worse, but that doesn't change what I have, good or bad. (or something like that). But really. He was too young to die. He was too young to suffer that much.

And from now on, I should learn to live my life better that I did before. Life is too short and the future is uncertain. I shall utilize and appreciate life to its fullest potential. I only got one life, and I should not waste it.

You should not waste yours too.